


Odd One Out

by wth_am_i_writing



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-15 22:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16941567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wth_am_i_writing/pseuds/wth_am_i_writing
Summary: You never understood why it turned out that way, but it was something you’d have to come to terms with as just another part of life.





	Odd One Out

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on February 4, 2014.
> 
> Original Author’s Note: I really, really debated writing this. Honestly, it’s a topic very close to my heart and very raw. This piece is based on one of my biggest insecurities and I honestly cried writing it. I really shouldn’t have been writing. This week is hellishly busy, but I was hit with how to make this fic work so I wrote it because I wanted to write it… I’m still incredibly nervous and hesitant putting this up… but here it is.

You couldn’t believe your luck. The four men that sat across from you and your friends at the table were absolutely gorgeous and interesting. Your two friends led the conversation, more eloquent and informed in the proper social mechanisms of courtship at a club. You were painfully inexperienced at this kind of thing and were more or less just tagging along for the ride, for the experience. Though, the club had been left far behind in favor of the cozier atmosphere of a restaurant-bar. The men were more than interested enough.

Yes, tonight was an adventure. Gorgeous men, good music, good drinks, good food. And the men were paying for it all. Your friends really knew how to play the game. Everyone had introduced themselves with nicknames in order to preserve a bit of mystery and privacy.

N, the eldest, had died his hair a fiery red. The color was like a beacon, daring you to try to ignore his presence. His eyes were almost always squinted closed in laughter. When he wasn’t laughing, he was busy embarrassing his younger friends or talking about his experiences studying in Japan.

Ken was the next eldest. When he introduced himself, he explained, “I’m Ken because I look like foreigner! But I’m full Korean, I promise!”.  He was the biggest jokester of the group. He would sit back, enjoying all of the stories with a grin, only to crack a joke at the most inappropriate moment and send everyone into a fit of laughter. Everyone’s less than sober state only contributed to how humorous he was, and he took advantage of that as one of the more sober people at the table.

Ravi was all thick eye-liner and dirty little smiles. He was the butt of most of N’s jokes, and it became evident that he was fighting with N for the attention of one of your friends—the one who sat furthest from you. The shocked face he made every time N spilled a particularly juicy and embarrassing tidbit about him was absolutely delicious. The way his lips curled as he leaned over the table to refill your friends’ drinks seemed sweeter than candy.

And then there was the baby—Hyuk. He probably shouldn’t have been drinking at all, but neither you or your friends had pegged that he was just a few weeks shy of being legal to drink. He was incredibly tall and mature looking, but he did seem to like to be spoiled by his friends. It wasn’t until N let it slip after a particularly vicious jab from Hyuk that you knew. After his tender, young age was revealed, he switched back and forth between playing the “I’m the most mature one here” and “Look how cute I am” cards.

The friend sitting closest to you hit your thigh under the table, laughing nervously at what you’d just said. The others had broken out into laughter, seemingly genuinely amused by your little story about the crazy fashion in Japan. You’d been throwing stories back and forth with N about your adventures in the foreign country, but every once in a while, your friend would hit your thigh in warning. Your eyes wandered to hers, hesitant and confused. She rolled her eyes at you before turning back to the others.

Trying to maintain your smile, you stared down at your drink, a sinking feeling in your stomach. Had you said something wrong? They’d found it funny hadn’t they? You lifted your drink and downed it. When you roughly placed it back on the table, Hyuk was staring at you with wide eyes full of amazement. Maybe it was time to switch to tea.

Somehow you managed to draw Ken and Hyuk into a conversation about your favorite shows and started throwing drunken theories and impressions across the table. You were smiling so wide your cheeks hurt and laughing so hard you thought you’d vomit. Griping on to your friend in an effort to support each other, you began exchanging fervid glances with Ken. The way his eyes twinkled. His crooked smile. His plump lips and the way he licked and bit them. Your face was hot and you prayed that everyone just thought it was because you’d had too much to drink. Your heart soared at the thought of possibly going home with him, of kissing, of fucking.

“Hyuk is so _tall_ and good looking. But why does he have to be so _young_?” your friend whispered into your ear. You laughed and hit her on the arm, earning curious looks from Ken and Hyuk. You knew Ravi was more her type, but he was busy vying for your other friend’s attention against N. But that friend kept glancing at Hyuk. _She_ liked the young ones, but she wasn’t about to let on about that. She was too good at playing the game.

When it’d gotten sufficiently late enough to call it a night, the men paid the tab in full and everyone shuffled outside. Ravi had linked hands with the friend that he’d been pursuing all night, and was leaning down whispering something into her ear while grinning widely. N was hiding his disappointment behind a smile but still hovered close to the two.

You stuck close to Ken and Hyuk and your other friend as you left the bar, laughing at another of Ken’s jokes. He smiled at you and your friend, the look in his eyes less than innocent as he milked the joke for all its worth. When the laughter died down, Hyuk excused himself, heading home for the night before his parents got too concerned.

Your friend wandered over to Ravi, N and your other friend to confirm their plans for the rest of the night, leaving you alone with Ken. She’d elbowed you before leaving, giving you a wink. You knew that was incredibly lame code for “Go get him!”. You’d rolled your eyes at her as she walked away.

You felt your chest tighten with nervousness and excitement. Clenching and unclenching your hands, you began to pray that that he’d ask you to go home with him. He was amazing, gorgeous, hilarious—everything you could ask for. Everything seemed to be going great. Maybe you could swallow your fear and pride and ask him to spend the night with you instead.

You looked up at him, smiling. He side eyed your friends, N and Ravi. Looking back at you, his expression suddenly going serious. He took in a deep breath, glancing down then back up at you before looking at the others out the side of his eyes. Your heart fluttered in anticipation as he opened his mouth and spoke.

“Do you think I have a chance with her?” he asked, nodding at your friend.

Everything came crashing down.

Trying to maintain your smile, you looked over at your friend. She was laughing while smacking N on the arm and wiggling her eyebrows at the newly formed couple. When you looked back at Ken, he was staring at her with longing in his eyes. You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat. You felt like you couldn’t breath. You swallowed again.

“Probably. She seemed to like you,” you finally managed after what felt like an eternity.

“Really?” Ken asked, smiling brightly at you. It was like a dagger in the chest. You forced your smile wider and reached out to hit him on the arm.

“Just ask her and see how it goes,” you encouraged. You stepped back, nervously shoving your hands into your pockets. Ken rubbed the back of his head as he smiled sheepishly, excitement seeming to take over his entire demeanor. You glanced up at his expression, then back over at you friends. Your hands were shaking and you tried your damnedest to keep your lip from trembling. It was time to get out of there.

“I should get going,” you said, drawing Ken’s attention back to you. “Tell everyone I said goodnight.” You began backing up slightly, making to head towards the train station. Ken’s eyebrows knit in confusion at your words.

“You aren’t going to say goodbye yourself?” he asked.

“Nah. They’ll understand. I really should get going. It’s getting late,” you insisted, forcing your smile wider. If you didn’t get out of there quickly, you were sure you’d break down into tears. The alcohol had worn away your usual emotional self-control. “Night! Tonight was great!”

“Yeah, it was great hanging out,” Ken said, still slightly confused as his eyes searched your face for an answer to your sudden behavior. You waved at him, noticing as you began to turn around that the others had turned to you guys. You waved at them and called out your goodbye before turning fully away. You’d just managed to catch your friends’ confused looks, but you pushed it out of your mind.

When you’d rounded the corner and descended the stairs to the subway two blocks away, you let the building tears free. It wasn’t until you were behind the gates and standing at the platform waiting for the train that you reached up to dry your eyes. You sniffed, trying to get a grip of your emotions. Though there weren’t many people around, it was bad to cry in public.

Pulling out your phone, you texted your friends an apology and made up a pathetic excuse for running off. It was no use starting a fight or making them worry, but you were sure they were concerned. But seeing as no one had come after you, Ken had been successful.

Shoving your phone back in your pocket, you sighed, fighting back the tears from returning. Your chest was tight and your nails dug into your palms as you tried to calm yourself down.

How many times did this make? Twelve? Thirteen? Had it been something you’d said? What you did? The way you were dressed? Your make-up? Or maybe it was the entire package. You never learned your lesson. This happened over and over again and you didn’t know why. Maybe it was everything. Maybe it was you.

You swallowed, thinking about how your friends had managed to hook up again, how amazing the guys were this time. Your chest was incredibly tight. The tears felt like they were going to fall again. Biting your lip as you tried to stop from breaking out into sobs, you came to the conclusion that you certainly weren’t the type anyone was looking for. You were doomed to be the odd one out.


End file.
